Friday, March 17, 2006
Ireland Versus Sweden
This was the first goal against Sweden that Ireland got (Scored by Damien Duff). Final Score was Ireland 3 Sweden 0. Not a bad way to start off Steve Stauntons Managerial role! Role on Euro'08
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Sky News Get it Right!
I know this is probably in poor taste but couldnt resist putting this pic up.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
This Kid will go far…
This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
If anyone can spot the difference in these photos can ye let me know because I cant find the 3rd difference!!
Click here for the puzzle. Hope ye enjoy this as much as I did.....
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Star Wars: Clone Wars
With the impending release of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, I said I’d do a post about Irelands connection with the Jedi Knights.
The last Star Wars movie was called, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. Yes there sure was cloning going on in this movie but this time it wasn’t Darth Sidious behind it all but rather the CGI artists at Lucas Arts.
When visitors to Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, began whispering about the clone-like similarity between the college's Old Library and the largest information repository in the Star Wars galaxy, librarians didn't shush them -- they called their lawyer. Overcome with the dark side they were.
After poking around a Star Wars fan site, library officials were stunned to discover the uncanny resemblance of their Old Library's Long Room to the Main Hall of the Jedi Archives.
The similarities are obvious, from the arched barrel vault running the length of the room to the double height book stacks. Even the busts and statuary of the Jedi Archive mirror the busts of figures from the academic world in the Long Room.
Is it too much of a coincidence that designers at Lucas Films would produce a library with not only a similar book arrangement to the Long Room, but a similar roof? A roof that was not original but added by later generations to solve a specific problem? The original flat ceiling was causing the external walls to buckle, and the insertion of the barrel vault was the preferred option to reintroduce structural integrity to the building. Additional supports were added which run from the floor to the ceiling along the edge of the bookstacks. Each library bay became structural and is vaulted at right angles to the main vault.
Trinity officials initially contacted their lawyers to discuss a lawsuit against director George Lucas, who had not asked permission to use the building's likeness. Lucas Arts commented that the stately architecture and vaulted ceilings of the Jedi Archives room was inspired by "a variety of real-world libraries including the Vatican, and those found in old English estates."
You be the judge:
Trinity College Vs. Jedi Archives
While there are protections in the European Union for architectural works, Any copyright statutes for the library, completed in 1732, have long since expired. In the end the librarians succumbed to the "dark side" and were forced to lay down their light sabers by dropping the case. I guess the force wasnt with them on that one....
What do you think? Rip off or Coincidence?
If you are bored at work/home and fancy some mental stimulation try this . Wasted half my day trying to figure it out.
Click here to try and crack the puzzle.
There are 13 items hidden in this room in order to let you get out of
If you found:
0-6 items, your IQ is very low, total idiot
6-8 items, Low IQ, you are an idiot
9-10 items, you are normal
11-12 items, your IQ is high, above the average.
13 items found and get out of the room, there are less than 4000
people in the world can do it.
The only clue I will give you is "1994" - as the URL on the Memo doesn't work!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
I thought I would pay homage to one of my favourite comedy progammes, "The Office", by having having my top ten tips for working in an office.
1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere.
David Brent doing his improvised “fuse of Flashdance with MC Hammer” dance is one of the highlights of the second series.
In the same way that when someone comes up to you on the street and says “stapler in jelly”, you’ll instantly be reminded of Tim making fun of Gareth, if they were to say “David Brent dancing about”, then you’re bound to think of, er, David Brent dancing about.
You can see clip of the dance, compressed into a nice little .mpg file here
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Things overheard in Dublin
For those of you outside Ireland, there is some Irish slang in it, so see my previous post about Irish slang first by clicking here
Update: I just realised that I have a download limit in my geocities account for pictures that I am using in previous posts. If some of the pictures don't download, its due to the fact that they are stored in my geocities account which is capped out due to high traffic so try back later. (High traffic for me is anything over 25 visitors which is kinda sad I admit) If any one knows of a place where I can strore non personal pictures that doesnt have a download cap per hour, can ye leave a comment and help me out? Sound! (Irish way of saying thanks)
Posted by: noelburke
Two American women talking about the banquet they had experienced the night before in Bunratty castle. Stating what a great night they had etc. However one of the woman turn to the other and stated: "why did they build the castle so near the main road?"
Naoibh: "Hello, I just found this phone on the bus, and your number is in the memory under Mam, it must be your son or daughters."
Woman on phone: "Oh that's great, it must be Steven's thanks so much, I'll get him to ring you."
Naoibh: "Ok, thanks."
(.........1 minute later the phone rings)
Woman on phone: "Steven, they're after finding your phone!!"
Drivers in dublin are Blind??
A friend was standing at the end of the Ha'penny Bridge, waiting to cross the street at the pedestrian crossing. An American tourist also waiting to cross turned to him and asked "Why do your traffic lights make nosie?" referring to the bleeping sound eminating from the traffic lights.
"It's for blind people" my friend replied, to which the American responded "You let your blind people drive over here?!". My friend could only reply with "Yeah"
Education in Ballymun?
Child and Mother on a busChild:(singing) A,B,C,D,E,F,G
Mother to child: Chelsea thats deadly
Child: i kno ma
Mother to child: Jaysus, did your teacher learn ya dat?
Child: yeah, me teacher learnded me it
Dublin Bus Service
Bloke gets on bus and says to busdriver, "€1.10 please", trows money in,
bus driver "1:10 wha are u talkin about, There is no such fare"
bloke replys "sorry I am new to this and its all I have"
Bus driver "yea ejit! go on".
Girl on the bus, going through her change:"Oh look, I found an American euro!"
ISLAND of Ireland
American woman to friend: "im finally at the home of my ancestors."
Friend: "When we finish here I want to go to see the border between Scotland and Ireland"
Customer from Hell - Smiths Toy Store in Tallaght
Man: "Do you have this in red?"
Cashier: "No, only blue and green."
Man: "Did you have this in red?"
Cashier: "No, only blue and green."
Man: "Will you be getting this in red?"
Cashier: "No, only blue and green."
Man: "So, what colours do you have then?
On the red line LUAS
Two americans and an Irish girl on the red line luas, near Red cow roundabout.
American #1 says to Irish girl : "So when does this luas go to St.Stephens green?"
Irish girl : "Um... this is the RED line. You need to get the green line luas."
American #2 : "Oh gee, ok great. So is that like on the otherside of the tracks?"
Irish girl : "No. It's a totally different line. You CAN'T get it here. It's a different area."
Amercan #1: "Oh great, thank you so much. We'll wait and get the next one to Stephens green so."
Teenager on bus talking to his friend:"I hate all these spaniards coming over from Italy"--upstairs 25A bus
Vegetarian restaurant in Wicklow St.
Woman: "Have you any chicken?"
Waitress: "eh no, this is a vegetarian restaurant."
Woman: "Oh, i'll just have some tuna then."